But, well, to think I'd wake up in that human bastard's room, this reminds me of Golden Week nyan.
A quirk of fate. All the myriad ways we have been brought together nyan.
And it's nyot a good thing for Mistress, either nyaa.
It's nyot that I can't understand the real motive behind Senjougahara Hitagi's mediation, well, nyot that I'm sure I'm right about it, but anyway, on that front, it's just frustrating nyan.
Nyot that I can do anything about this nyaa.
In the end, I'm just Mistress herself.
I can't do anything that Mistress won't nyaa -- it's a sad feeling of powerlessness, nyow that I think about it nyan.
"Nyow then..."
I got up from the bed, got on all fours and stretched my back -- it's what cats do nyan -- and then said this to confirm with myself.
"...But, what's this all about nyaa? Seeing as I'm out like this, it must mean Mistress is feeling some sort of stress again... but I don't knyow exactly what it is nyaa. I thought it must've been because of that fire at the house, but seeing as I'm still coming out even nyow, it looks like it's nyot just about the fire nyaa -- "
Apparently, this is how the me this time is going to be like.
During Golden Week, I was pretty much just like Mistress, and before the Cultural Festival, I was so connected to Mistress you could've called me her inner personyality -- but this time, it looks like Black Hanekawa is almost completely cut off from her person nyan.
Have I gained independence as an abnyormality thanks to coming out so many times nyaa? I'm pretty bad in the head, so I don't really knyow, but if that annyoying Aloha were here, he'd probably have a different explanyation.
"But the times when I come out sure are getting convenient nyaa -- it's actually flexible, how I only appear when Mistress is sleeping nyan. The last two times, he had to work pretty hard just to get me back inside. Nyahaha, he even needed help from that bratty little vampire nyaa."
"And of whom do you refer to as 'bratty little vampire'?"
"Nyan?!"
Someone answered my monyologue nyan.
I can see her nyow, but, at some point she was there -- or is it 'at some point'? She was sitting in the room, no, on top of the room, on the ceiling, with her arms around her knees, like she had been there since before the universe began.
A little blonde girl.
It was that Oshino Shinobu nyan.
When I saw her before, she had a helmet with goggles on, but it looks like she stopped wearing it nyaa.
And on top of that.
When I saw her before, plus that time during Golden Week, she was expressionless, but nyow -- how should I put it, she's looking down on me with a terrible smile on her face nyaa.
...Even though she's got what passes for a smile nyow, I wonder why she looked cuter when she didn't have an expression at all nyan.
"Hmph,"
The vampire went ahead and said.
She's totally puffed-up nyan.
Actually, I've fought her twice and lost both times, so of course, she really can do as she pleases nyan -- it doesn't matter whether I'm Black Hanekawa or a Hindering Cat, because as an abnyormality, I can't even reach the soles of her feet.
"Long has it been, cat -- it eludes me why you would skulk in my Lord's chamber, but to seek the reason behind the appearance of an abnormality would be tasteless, I suppose."
I am not like that Aloha brat, said the vampire.
Hmmmn.
I thought about asking her, 'why are you here?' but I guess that goes both ways nyaa.
"Wait. Huh? Weren't you supposed to be locked up in that human bastard's shadow nyaa?"
That's how it was supposed to be nyaa.
If Mistress recalls correctly.
So, seeing as she's here, it's strange for that human bastard to nyot be -- he isn't sticking to the ceiling nyaa.
I'm nyot seeing anything scary like that right nyow nyaa.
"Correct -- yet a slight irregularity has ensued."
Said the vampire sitting on the ceiling nyah.
"At this moment, the pairing between myself and my Lord -- in other words, between Oshino Shinobu and Araragi Koyomi has been severed."
"Been -- severed?"
Nyan? I tilted my head.
What's that supposed to mean nyan.
"By which I meant we were returned to our states before the coming of that Aloha brat -- no, matters haven't worsened even further. Alas, I know not where my Lord is, nor of his condition. I am completely in the dark..."
Stopping in mid-sentence, the vampire snyorted and looked at me with scorn nyan.
"Confiding in you makes hardly any difference."
She just went and gave up nyan.
Nyot that it wasn't the right decision.
I don't even understand conversations beyond three lines nyan.
Anyway, it seems that human bastard is really in quite the predicament right nyow -- I mean, really, isn't he in a pretty serious situation if he got cut off from this vampire nyaa?
Like that time with the Monkey.
Just what is going on with him right nyow?
I haven't got any reason to worry about him (actually, I hate the guy nyan) but if Mistress finds out, she'll definitely worry nyaa -- in that way, it's pretty good timing that it's me who's out, as in, while Mistress is sleeping, when this vampire showed up.
"It occurred to me that perhaps my Lord would return home, but it was a faint hope. And now I must suffer your presence as well. Revenge is a dish best served cold."
"......"
Even I knyow she's using that proverb wrong nyan.[1]
Though I get what she's trying to say nyaa.
Nyaa, I'm nyot built for this sort of thing, but let's see if I can't help her out.
Nyot with correcting the proverb, but with the human.
"Your Lord or whatever should be at that tutorial school tonight, at around nine o'clock nyaa. A meeting with that monkey girl nyaa."
"A meeting? With the monkey? What purpose could she serve at such a late -- aah, I see. Yes, it is clear to me now that even my Lord possesses some presence of mind in this. Rather than choosing an abnormality, he chose the lass for her heredity."
"Her heredity?"
"Well -- quite the news this is, what you have just told me. It was no fool's errand, after all. You may receive my praise. I fancied sucking your blood to stave off the boredom, but as a symbol of my gratitude, I shall refrain."
She's got some outrageous thoughts going through her head nyaa.
Close one nyaa, close one.
"Or rather, would it not be well of me to do just that out of gratitude? You are her stress, and if I absorb you, it should provide her some reprieve -- in some measure."
"Ha. I'll have to say nyo to that nyaa."
Nyow that she mentioned it, that's exactly the case, and in fact, it was thanks to her sucking me out that Mistress got 'saved' the last two times -- but things are a bit different this time nyaa.
The difference between the me this time and the me's from before.
It must be the fact that I have a fully-fledged mission -- nyot a reason, which would befit an abnyormality, but a mission, something most unlike an abnyormality. Nyot that I knyow what it is yet, though.
But there must be something.
"Hmph. I see. You are some new species of abnormality, something that neither the Aloha brat nor I are well versed in -- but let us give you a light evaluation, shall we? To wit, the you in the now and the you hitherto are not unlike the Terminator and Terminator 2."
"That example's very easy to understand, but is it something a vampire like you should use...?"
She follows trends and fads. Unexpected nyaa.
Did that human bastard let her watch it nyaa?
"Well, whichever the case, my drawing of your blood is only a cure for the time being, or rather, something to tide you over, and nothing more. Not a hand you should be keen on using again and again."
"That's true nyaa."
I agreed nyan.
When it comes down to it, I of all people knyow best just how meaningless 'a cure for the time being', a brute force solution is nyan.
Plus -- I musn't forget nyaa.
Though I'm coming out like this openly, I'm nyathing more than Mistress' innyer personyality, so I shouldn't be so open.
I should be scanty.
And stealthy nyan.
"Yet, the outside, and inside... but two sides to the same subject, they are. Well, perhaps I overstate, but at the least, you are like reversible garment. You seem to be one performing a fool's errand, much as my Lord does, or rather, two fools arguing in a circle."
"Hmn?"
"Well, this is but a trite story, the kind your Mistress has naturally filling her database with, but this is of my own recollection, with its own significance, so quiet down and listen. An anecdote of Napoleon I, this -- he slept for only three hours a day, says they."
"Ahh,"
True, that story is part of Mistress' knyowledge.
Actually, it's so famous, it's a story that anyone would knyow nyan -- even that illiterate human bastard would knyow nyaa.
It's actually pretty incredible, the way she said it's 'of her own recollection' nyan.
"So what nyan? Does that have anything to do with the way I'm coming out while Mistress is sleeping?"
"No, I did not mean to join the two. But, listen all the same."
"I'm listening nyan."
"Meanwhilst, the Emperor was famous for his love of baths. Spent more than six hours a day in it, says they. In this day and age, he would be Shizuka-chan."
"......"
We've gone from Terminyator to Doraemon nyaa...
Something's wrong with the way her knyowledge leans towards that one area nyaa.
"Of this matter much has already been said, but in time, even Shizuka-chan will be regulated... actually, she is well and truly under regulation already. And now that we are on this subject, it makes me recall how risqué the ED sequence of that nostalgic series Perman was. Pako always had her drawers out on full display... but I suppose that at this point, such spectacles as these were already being regulated, even before the proper laws were set. A sad tale, truly."
"Sorry to cut in while you're talking about this like it's someone else's business, but it's the ones like you for who regulations and laws are set nyan."
Begging his pardon, but it's probably nyot the time for her to be worrying about Mr Fujiko Fujio.[2]
"True, true. Aye, but I ramble."
"Yep. If this is what you had me shut up to listen to, it'll definitely get cut during the editing nyan."
But I still don't knyow what this vampire is trying to say nyan.
It's all ??? to me nyan.
How little the Emperor sleeps, and how long he bathes for, they're both famous stories nyaa -- they're nyot quite anecdotes when you get right down to it.
"Well. When I came to know of these stories, the thought occurred."
Said the vampire.
In a very dramatic tone.
"Come now, surely he must be sleeping in his bath!"
"......"
Ah.
I see, she's trying to connect the two anyecdotes -- putting aside the truth (according to Mistress' knyowledge, the Emperor would work on his government affairs even in the bath) that's one way to see it nyan.
"Thus, by joining these two, in a way, unnatural inclinations and considering them together, one may reach an exceedingly rational conclusion. As one would add one minus to another to produce a plus, if you add one mystery to another, you may reach a proper conclusion. In short, what I am conveying is that the matters which you consider to be separate affairs could be connected in unexpected ways -- there is no meaning in considering the outside and the inside separately. Yes, you are Black Hanekawa, cut off from the personality of Hanekawa Tsubasa, that is not incorrect -- but there is no marked difference between the two."
Such is my belief.
Said the vampire -- with a terrible smile.
"From my eyes, abnormalities and humans are not so unlike one another."
"...I see."
Hearing her say that,
made me feel a bit at ease -- and very down nyaa.
I'm -- the same as Mistress, huh.
I already knyow that, I recognize that, I even claimed that myself -- but, nyow someone's actually saying it out loud.
"But... in that case, it's turning out like a worse and worse idea to let you suck my blood nyaa."
"That is true. Best of all is a natural death. Both from an expert's eye, and the abnormality."
"So, vampire,"
I said.
I thought of something -- after what the vampire just mentioned, I thought of something.
"If you want to thank me, how about answering one of my questions?"
"Hmn? I do not mind -- but do so with speed. I must hasten to return beneath my Lord. The clock strikes nine, but he may not remain in that place -- quickly, lest the useless fool truly does get himself killed."
She looked like she was taking it easy, but apparently even she's being driven up the wall nyaa.
So I did as she said and got to the point.
"Do you knyow a tiger abnyormality?"
"A tiger?"
"Yeah, a tiger nyaa -- "
A tiger.
Mammal of the family Felinae, order of Carnivora.
"-- It's prowling around town right nyow."
"Of tiger abnormalities, there are numerous. Quite a few even from my own knowledge, but with what the Aloha brat knows -- "
There are easily over fifty, said the vampire.
Nyaaa.
That's a problem nyaa.
I don't even knyow that nyumber nyaa.
"Well, I knyow what Mistress knyows, too... but that's the thing, we can't figure out which one it really is nyaa. I knyow it's a really bad one, but when it comes to its true identity, I can't think of anything -- "
"Yes, to bestow one a name is to gain a hold on one's true identity -- be it I, Oshino Shinobu, or you, Black Hanekawa. Knowing not the name, seeing not its true form -- that is true terror. None can be more terrifying than the one who is none. Fear of an anonymous society, it did not begin in the present age. Are there no clues, besides being a tiger?"
"It's a big tiger nyaa."
"Most tigers are big. A small tiger would be more telling."
"Mmmmn, it's really fast nyaa. It got ahead of me in a flash nyaa."
"Most tigers are fast. An unmoving tiger would be more telling."
"Mmmmn, and it talked nyaa."
"Talked?"
The vampire reacted nyan.
And very clearly nyaa.
"A beast form abnormality, and yet it speaks -- that is, shall I say, rare. But I fear that hearing this has made its true form even more of a mystery."
The vampire said this, and stood up nyaa.
Her feet are stuck to the ceiling, so I guess 'stood up' is a weird expression to use nyaa.
And I guess you can say it was lady-like, or something, the way she skilfully clamped down on her skirt with her thighs to stop it from falling.
All her blonde hair got turned upside-down though nyaa.
"To start with, it cannot be that an unknown abnormality prowls this town without my knowing of it."
"Hmn?"
That's true, nyow that she mentioned it nyaa.
She may let small fry like me do as I please, but if a really powerful abnyormality like that thing was wandering around, there's no way it wouldn't catch the attention of this No Life King of abnyormalities nyan.
This iron-blooded, hot-blooded and cold-blooded vampire.
All abnyormalities are just a food supply for her, after all.
"...But still, it's nyot like you're still like that nyow, right? I don't really knyow, but since that human's in a tough spot, and your pairing got severed -- "
"All the more so. In such a predicament as this, I could not possibly fail to notice an abnormality -- this is a bolt from the blue. Hmm, actually seen this tiger, have you?"
"Oh, nyaa,"
That's, nyot true.
I did, but before that --
"Mistress saw it nyaa. So I did too."
"And hence -- that may be the point of contention. In short, it was an abnormality beheld by none other than the two of you -- a tiger only the two of you may see."
"......"
"Naught but a possibility. Forgive me for not being of help."
I shall consider again a way to show my thanks, said the vampire, who calmly walked along the ceiling and looked like she was about to leave the room through the window. She's probably heading to that tutorial school nyaa.
....Hmph, I thought.
She didn't manyage to tell me that abnyormality's true form, so there's nyo reason to cosy up to her any more, but -- it's true that I wasted her time nyaa.
On that front, I guess I'll return the favor.
It's nyot for that human though.
"Hey, vampire."
"What is it, cat."
"I'll get you there nyaa. It's just a skip for me to get to those ruins nyan."
"......"
"Don't be so cautious. I knyow you can't fly right nyow -- and your jumps aren't big enyough to be close to flying. It's nyot much trouble for me. But you can shave off thirty minutes."
"......Hmph."
Then the vampire,
hesitated for a second (actually, she just looked like she really didn't want to) but then she lightly fell from the ceiling and landed on the floor, or rather, the bed. It was really springy, so she ended up bouncing back up and flipping for no reason, but it was pretty amazing how she still manyaged to land properly nyaa.
"May I rely on you?"
I thought that it was possible, very possible actually, that this proud vampire would reject my suggestion, but she pretty much made up her mind right away nyan.
I guess that's just how serious things are.
That's it nyan.
Nyow that I think about it -- although she didn't make much of it, having her pairing with that human severed isn't just a big deal, it's unbelievably bad news.
I mean, doesn't this mean he's lost his immortality?
Seeing as she's walking and sitting on the ceiling, maybe it means that, in reverse, her vampire traits are coming back -- but that bastard losing his immortality is really bad nyan.
Isn't his immortality how he even manyaged to survive this long?
And still, he...
"...Yeah, you can rely on me nyan."
I nyodded.
"But only as close as I can -- that's how Mistress feels nyaa. Even if that human's in a tough spot, she doesn't want to get in his way."
"Oh? -- I can't say it is something that woman would have spoken, but that is a good decision. Aye, she's suffered her share of pain this spring break, once and twice -- thanks to her conceited and thoughtless actions, my Lord was plunged in even direr straits."
"Mmn -- "
I remember that too nyan.
I didn't exist at the time, but -- I have that memory nyan.
The way I see it, she did more than just plunge him into direr straits, but well, that was more or less it, I guess nyan.
"To learn from one's own mistakes is an unavoidable step. Do as you please. This is enough as aid."
"Okay nyan."
I held the vampire.
Carrying her like a bride nyan.
As soon as I touched her, my Energy Drain activated, but the vampire didn't seem to mind.
What nerves nyaa.
I opened the window and put my foot on the windowsill. I'm barefooted as usual, but, well, I can just clean myself up when I get back nyan. Lucky enyough, this room has some of those wet tissues that the human uses to clean the room nyan (he likes cleaning nyan).
Nyow that I come to it, how did the vampire get in this room nyan? It crossed my mind suddenly, but I guess asking that about an abnyormality isn't going to go anywhere -- so I didn't think anything, and just jumped.
I flew.
Heading for Nyoble Minds Tutorial School -- but,
the vampire and I couldn't head for that building nyan -- although we at least manyaged to head for that place nyan.
I actually did aim for that area and jumped nyaa.
It's just that,
it's just that -- we couldn't reach it.
When we landed, arrived -- the building that should be there, the ruins of the tutorial school weren't there.
There's only some burnt bits and pieces.
The ruins of the tutorial school, where Araragi Koyomi and Oshino Shinobu had once hidden, where Oshino Meme had lived for several months, a place filled with memories for Mistress and Senjougahara Hitagi, for Kanbaru Suruga and Sengoku Nadeko -- were completely burnt down nyan.
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